


With Idiocy He Fights

by k_itsmay



Series: Under City Skies [1]
Category: Akatsuki no Yona | Yona of the Dawn
Genre: Alternate Universe - Gangsters, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Family Feels, Found Family, Friendship, Gang Violence, Gen, Light Angst, Parental!Jaeki, Unsafe driving
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-16
Updated: 2017-01-02
Packaged: 2018-09-08 22:40:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 11,080
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8866258
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/k_itsmay/pseuds/k_itsmay
Summary: (Gang!AU) Shin-ah and Yoon are no strangers to doing what is right, but even so they still just can’t seem to get away with anything at all.





	1. He Will

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: the events and settings of this story do not accurately depict the lives or address the issues faced by real life gang members, nor aim to do so.

Jae-ha had described motorbike riding in the dead of night as fleeting and exhilarating, but with a sublime undertone of calmness beneath it.

It was not what Shin-ah was expecting to feel when he stole one of the Bandits’ motorbikes, if he was thinking about anything other than survival at all. But with the amount of times he had been successfully coerced by his older brother into riding a motorbike, he did not expect _this…_

Panic.

The wind whips through his short hair and unzipped hoodie as the endless blocks of run-down buildings sweep behind him and sting his eyes until they water. His palms sweat around the nozzles of the motorbike, heart beating and ringing in his ears amongst the roaring engines behind him and the heat of headlights on his back.

His nerves scream danger. By no means is he as experienced a rider as his pursuers, but regardless his sharp eyes are far superior. He has watched Jae-ha and Hak a million times and seen the angle of their bodies, how much their shoulders shift to the side when turning and their distance from the road they were turning into. It is enough.

A narrow alleyway approaches and Shin-ah swerves sharply into the corner. He feels the heat against his back dissipate as he speeds further into the maze of alleyways, twisting and turning around the corners. Concrete thuds bluntly against his arms and screech against the motorbike. His mind spins and his body burns until the skies clear above him and his shoulders are free, finally ceasing the noise into a short moment of silence.

A flash of bright orange suddenly appears in the headlights on the road. Shin-ah hurls himself to the side and squeezes his hand on the brake. The bike seizes and Shin-ah is thrown off the front, falling onto his back on flat grass while the bike tumbles onto the ground. Something in the distance squeaks as he rolls onto his side, adrenaline fading and numbing pain beginning to kick him in his shoulders, back, stomach and legs. Groaning and shivering in the cold, he pulls his dark grey hood up over his blue hair.

* * *

Shin-ah trudges, practically drags himself up the stairs towards the apartment one foot and pull on the railing at a time. He stands in front of the door when he reaches it and listens. There are no voices inside - everyone must be asleep. A small sigh escapes him, and he finally opens the door.

It slowly swings inside the dark apartment with a soft creak, where in the corner of the living room a dim lamp and a shadow of a tense arm on the wall waits for him. Shin-ah breathes shakily, and suddenly the figure turns around.

Hak’s eyes widen. “Shin-ah…Where on earth have you _been?_ ”

The lights inside the apartment suddenly flash on, and Yona scrambles to her feet running to the door. “Shin-ah!” She grabs his hands and pulls him inside. “Are you alright?! What happened?!”

Yoon stumbles towards them as Hak closes the door. “We can leave that until a little later, Yona.” He wheezes in a breath and coughs. “Come on, Shin-ah, I’ll treat your wounds.”

“But…you’re still sick…”

He smiles weakly. “I do this all the time, a cold and a headache won’t knock this pretty boy genius down.” He turns around and heads to the cupboard at the other side of the room. “Yona, Hak, can you lay him down for me?”

Hak and Yona sling each one of Shin-ah’s arms over their shoulders and brace him as he limps towards the mass of futons on the floor. They reach his neatly folded out against the side wall and lower him down, keeping him seated until Zeno undresses him.

While Yoon sets his first-aid kid onto the floor and silently gets to work, Hak and Yona exchange uncertain glances at each other and towards Shin-ah.

Hak clears his throat. “I’ll call the White Snake and Droopy Eyes and tell them to come back.”

Yona nods. When Hak presses his phone to his ear, her eyes drift towards Zeno sitting at Shin-ah’s head. She sees him eying him closely, reading him, then looks down at Shin-ah focusing a stare into the ceiling with his breath held in his chest. He does not look at either of them.

“So, are you going to tell us what happened?”

Shin-ah turns his head towards Zeno. They can all tell when the memory crosses his mind, because his gaze drops to the floor and it takes him a few moments to speak. When he finally does, his voice is cautious. “They…attacked someone…around Yoon’s age.”

* * *

 

_A hand grabbed onto the boy’s shirt and yanked it towards him. The young man growled, “The fuck did you just say to me?!”_

_“I-I-I’m sorry! I didn’t–”_

_“He called us useless, low life trash!” Another laughed. “Yet we could still kick his tiny ass into the ground! Kid’s got some nerve!”_

_Shin-ah looked up from the path when the heard the voices. In the streetlight he saw two, no, three young men surrounding a younger boy. Shin-ah froze for a moment, but then began to run._

_The man raised his fist. “I’m gonna make ya sorry you ever come outta your mother’s–!!”_

_He burst into the circle, pushing them all back as he tore the arm from the boy’s shirt. When their glares all turned to Shin-ah, he said sternly, “Leave him alone.”_

_The initial surprised look in the man’s eyes slowly darkened. “Huh?” He raised his chin and looked down at Shin-ah still holding onto the boy’s arm. “And who do you think you are?”_

_Under the shadow of his chin Shin-ah spotted a tattoo of a skull and a bandana. A gasp trapped itself in his throat. Bandits._

_“You’re gonna pay!”_

_Fists flew towards him from all directions. Shin-ah ducked down and pulled the boy out of the circle with him, but an instant later a hand grabbed his shoulder. He spun around, drove his free hand into the face behind him and shoved the body down to the ground._

_But his arms were snatched, twisted behind him. Feet kicked into his ribs and he fell to his knees. He tried to struggle out of their grasp but the restless assault doubled him over, and in the corner of his eye he caught a glimpse of the boy still standing a small distance away._

_“Go!” Shin-ah choked, and the boy finally ran away after another kick._

_They dragged him to his feet by the arms and held him. One of the members approached him with a snarl in his teeth. “Do you have any fucking clue who we are?” he growled._

_Shin-ah stared, unresponsive._

_He leaned towards him and spat, “We’re Bandits! We’re strongest gang around now that the Dragons have disappeared! But unlike them,” he cracked his knuckles with a vicious smile twisting his face, “we don’t show mercy.”_

_Shin-ah quickly ran his eyes up and down the Bandit, spotting a ring of keys hanging out from his hoodie pocket and three motorbikes parked on the side of the road._

_The Bandit raised his fist, “This’ll teach you to play hero!”_

_Shin-ah jumped and kicked his legs into the Bandit, pushing the other two under his weight and falling to the ground. The keys fell from the Bandit’s pocket as he stumbled over. Shin-ah rolled and grabbed the keys, then darted towards the bikes._

_And he sped through the rest._

* * *

 

Silence fills the apartment as Yoon flattens the last band-aid onto Shin-ah’s leg. He slowly pulls his shaking hands back. “…You’re lucky you’ve only got bruises and cuts on you…”

Yona and Hak look up.

Light brown hair falls over Yoon’s eyes. “You stole one of the Bandits’ motorbikes and sped through alleys without a helmet, or even proper riding clothes…” He chokes in a clog in his throat. “What if there was a car? What if you crashed? You’re an idiot…!” He raises his head and bears teeth with tearful eyes, “You could have _killed yourself,_ Shin-ah!”

Yona clenches her fists. “He would’ve had to know what he was doing, Yoon! What he did might’ve been a little drastic, but he couldn’t have escaped if he hadn’t taken a motorbike. And he saved that boy too!”

“This isn’t about him saving the kid! There were plenty of other ways he could’ve escaped but he had to go with the one that put his life in danger the most! Even the police would’ve helped him!”

Zeno closes his eyes and steels his voice. _“Shin-ah.”_

All eyes turn to Zeno. In the afterglow of raised voices he holds a firm expression on his usually soft features. He opens his eyes. “I need you to promise you will never do this again.”

Shin-ah’s eyes drop to the floor again. “I’m sorry, I won’t–”

“Shin-ah,” Hak interrupts softly, “You need to say it to Yoon.”

He looks up at Yoon, whose anxious stare lingers on him hesitantly, whose breath is held in his small chest and hands balled into tight, shaking fists. Shin-ah feels remorse weighing on his chest. “I’m sorry, Yoon, I promise won’t endanger myself again.”

Zeno looks at Yoon. “And…” He pauses for a moment. “Just so you know, people often think a little differently when there’s a fight.”

Yoon tiredly traces his fingers across the mattress towards Shin-ah’s hand and holds it as though for reassurance. Both the fight and fright in him are gone, and only his cold and consequent drowsiness remain. “Thank you.”

Zeno scans the room and the tension heavy on their shoulders and foggy in their minds. He upturns his lips into a smile, “Well, now that that’s all over, Zeno says we get to bed! Zeno bags not turning off the lights!” He throws himself onto his futon and rolls into the blanket.

Yona stands up and walks towards the light switch. Before the tip of her finger presses into it, she hears Yoon from across the room behind her. “Yona, I’m sorry.”

She looks at him from over her shoulder. “I’m sorry too, Yoon.”

The lights turn off and they all return to bed. One by one they drift into darkness, slipping into sleep, finally calming the night.

The front door opens quietly. Kija enters the apartment first, immediately dropping his bag next to the door. “Where’s Shin-ah?” he whispers.

Jae-ha follows behind and closes the door. “Kija, he’s fine, it’s Shin-ah. Hak said so as well.”

Kija begins to pace towards Shin-ah’s futon at the side of the room. “He is my younger brother, I must–”

He stops when he feels Jae-ha’s hand clasp around his wrist, holding him still. “He just got out of a fight, Kija. He doesn’t need anyone forcing him to wake up.” Jae-ha watches Kija closely, the latter’s eyes still fixated on their brother. His voice softens, “Besides, look at him.”

Kija looks back down at Shin-ah, whose head is lulled slightly to the side as his chest rises and falls softly without a sound.

Jae-ha loosens his grip on Kija’s wrist and lets it fall around his hand. “He’s sleeping like a baby.”

He watches Kija’s expression relax, though he still watches Shin-ah.

But his face falls and he waits a moment. “…If you’re going to tell me I should never have started teaching him how to ride a motorcycle, now is the time.”

Kija looks at him as though a spark of fire had burnt him. “No, it’s not your fault.” He entwines his fingers with Jae-ha’s. “I never told you not to, and…we don’t know if he may have gotten out of there at all if you never did.”

A small smile appears on Jae-ha’s lips, but suddenly his mouth gapes when Kija gently presses his forehead against his in physical reassurance. He chuckles. “Kija, come on, let’s go to sleep.”


	2. Protect Him

The apartment is bustling in the morning when Yoon stays in bed.

“Zeno! Yona! If you wanna bring any leftovers to school there’s some in the fridge!” Hak closes the fridge door and places the dishes wrapped in plastic foil onto the counter.

“Woah, thanks, Hak,” Jae-ha picks away the food into a takeaway box, “Just gonna take some of that to work with me–”

“Hey, Droopy Eyes! You have money, buy it during your lunch break!”

He laughs. “You guys should experience the hot battle for limited school bread once in a while! Though, I don’t think there’d be much competition after you turn up, Hak.”

Yona steps into the kitchen raking a brush through her hair, “Are you guys talking about the bread stand? Hak, let’s go! I heard their melon bread is actually decent now!”

“You can’t just settle for _melon bread!_ ” Kija holds his hand to his chest. “There is nothing that holds more victory in school than fresh yakisoba bread from the cafeteria–”

Hak scoffs. “You got it once in three years because you didn’t want to push anyone out of the way or sneak it out! Some White Snake you are!”

“Well I’m sorry for not living up to a title I never asked for!”

Zeno just laughs.

When Jae-ha steps past Kija and out of the kitchen he hands him a lunchbox. “Come on, we’ve gotta go.”

Just before heading out the door, they tip-toe over the futons sprawled on the floor to either sides of the room where Yoon and Shin-ah sleep.

“Shin-ah, are you awake?” Kija asks. He sees him turn over as he kneels down on the floor next to him. “Hak told me and Jae-ha about what happened last night. Are you okay?”

Shin-ah pulls his blanket to his nose defensively, fearful.

“I’m not angry at you,” Kija chuckles. “I just wanted to see if you’re okay.” He gently places a hand on Shin-ah’s. “I’m not sure if anyone has told you yet, but we’re all proud of you for saving that boy.” He smiles. “Just remember to call us next time. We’ll drop everything and rush to you no matter what. We’re brothers, after all.”

Jae-ha crawls over next to Kija. “Yoon said he’s feeling worse than yesterday.” When Kija gets up and crosses the sea of blankets, Jae-ha’s eyes flicker to Shin-ah. “Don’t worry, Shin-ah, it’s not your fault. I know he probably went on a tirade about putting your life in danger, but you know how he is when he gets worried. But no matter what he says, the most important thing is that you’re all okay now. Another thing though…” He shoots a glance out the window from the corner of his eye, and his voice darkens. “Do they know you’re a Dragon?”

Shin-ah firmly shakes his head.

He sighs with relief. “You’d be best not going outside for a while anyway. They might be looking for you.” He begins to get back up. “Take care of Mother, okay?”

Yoon groans from the other side of the room, “I don’t remember giving birth to any of you beasts.”

Jae-ha’s laugh rings throughout the apartment as he leaves with Kija. A few minutes later Yona, Hak and Zeno check on Shin-ah and Yoon, who both repeat their I’m fines until they leave as well.

Shin-ah gets out of bed a little after Yona and the others leave for school. He folds all the futons and neatly tucks them away into the cupboard. After he finishes, he turns around to see Yoon still sleeping.

_“You could have killed yourself, Shin-ah!”_

Yoon was worried sick, Shin-ah thinks, and he is glad Zeno told him to apologise. But he thinks he should apologise again when he gets up. Until then, he decides, he will do Yoon’s chores.

He spends the next half hour or so ambling around the apartment, picking up dishes and washing them, checking the fridge for any stale food and throwing them in the bins outside along with any other rubbish he finds lying around the place. Then he picks up his dirty clothes off the floor and washes them with the other laundry before walking around with glass cleaner and a few cloths, wiping down every dusty corner.

Eventually he finds his way to the kitchen where he puts the cloth away into the cabinet under the sink. When he stands back up, he hears a squeak from outside the open window. He catches a glimpse of bright orange in the tree branches out the window and gasps softly. He pushes himself against the sink and leans out as far as he can. The squirrel he spots doesn’t move, but underneath the tree he suddenly spots an unfamiliar black car.

“Shin-ah?” he hears Yoon call. “What are you doing?”

He turns from the window as Yoon crosses the kitchen towards him. “Yoon, I…” He wants to tell him about what he just found, what he just saw, but then he pulls the thought back. There is something else he has to say. “I’m…I’m really sorry for worrying you.”

Yoon blinks, holding his breath for a few seconds before sighing. “It’s…it’s okay. And I’m sorry too - I shouldn’t have yelled.” He coughs. “Thanks for doing all the chores though, I really appreciate it.” He smiles and looks out the window. “So, what were you looking at just now?”

_“Pkyuu!”_

The bright orange squirrel pops out of a tree onto a small branch just outside of the kitchen window and perches itself on it. It stares straight at them with its thick tail bouncing around behind it. The apples of its enormous cheeks curve as it smiles with another squeak, _“P–kyuu!”_

“W-w-w–” Yoon stammers, “What’s with this squirrel’s puffy cheeks?! It’s been eating way too much!”

The squirrel leaps into the kitchen and Shin-ah startles, catching it in his hands. It immediately climbs onto his shoulder and snuggles into his cheek.

He looks at Yoon. “I’m naming her Ao.”

“Eh–you know it’s a female? Wait, more importantly how are you accepting this so easily?”

It takes a few seconds for him to answer. “Yesterday…we saved each other. I avoided her on the bike, but if she hadn’t been there I could’ve crashed somewhere more dangerous…”

“Y…this is the squirrel you saved yesterday?”

He nods.

“…Um, okay. Tha…that’s nice.”

Shin-ah isn’t wrong to assume that Ao was the squirrel he avoided, Yoon thinks. After all, what other reason would a squirrel have to be so affectionate towards a human? And Shin-ah is extremely hard to miss with his blue hair and golden eyes, and even his height which is a little more than average. He guessed that the squirrel obviously recognised him. Plus, he didn’t want to say anything, not when Shin-ah’s eyes practically beamed when he held the little Ao in his hands.

So he sits with Shin-ah at the coffee table in the living room watching Ao scurry on top of the table and gobble almost entire mandarins at a time for longer than he expects to. Eventually, he stands up. “I’m doing my homework in the kitchen.”

Shin-ah simply nods and watches Yoon walk away until he leaves the room.

Yoon drops onto the stool in front of the counter and drags the pile of books he had left the day before towards him. Yona had also given him her notes, and the pages are filled to the edges with notes and diagrams, and it makes him groan. During the two days he is at home sick the teachers suddenly decide to power through as much new content as they could. They sure as hell weren’t doing that when he was at school.

He swamps through economics and maths and Japanese until his brain is muffled with numbers and words and his eyes begin to droop. Before he can slap himself to stay focused, he falls asleep at the counter.

_Thud._

He snaps awake.

“We’ve got him!” a voice says from the living room behind him. “Let’s take ‘im to the boss.”

Yoon immediately dives off the stool onto the floor and crawls behind the counter. He peeks his head to the side of the counter, and watches as three Bandits leave the apartment with Shin-ah in tow. As they turn around to slam the door he pulls his head back.

_No, no, no, no, no!_ Yoon rushes towards the window above the sink. Peeping his head just above the sill, he looks out. The Bandits throw an unconscious Shin-ah into the trunk of a car and begin to drive off.

He can feel his own face pale when his heart thuds against his chest. He runs to the living room and grabs his phone, fumbling it in his shaking hands as he types.

_‘Y: EMERGENCY. Shin-ah’s been taken by Bandits in a black Honda. I’m following them. Don’t call.’_

He grabs his bag and keys off the counter and runs out the door.

_‘H: Number plate?’_

_‘Y: Not yet’_

He slips on his sunglasses after leaving the building and stalks down the street with his eyes locked onto the car as it turns into another corner. As he follows it, he stuffs his hand into his bag and spreads his fingers along the contents. Keys…wallet…

He swallows. _Taser._

He wishes he won’t need it.

Then…fur?

Something squeaks inside his bag, “Pkyuu!”

Yoon barely chokes back a yelp, “Ao?!” He cannot ask what she is doing in his bag, so he simply groans. “Stay in there, you hear me?”

The car drives across into a row of parking spaces by a skate park and stops. Shin-Ah barely opens his eyes when the boot is opened and they grab him by his bruised arms and drag him out. The Bandits make a few remarks about him waking up, but his head spins far too much to pay attention to anything other than the group of Bandits waiting for him in the middle of the skate park.

“Lee, Boss! We’ve got him!” The two Bandits holler proudly as they shove Shin-ah to his knees. “This is the shithead that stole and fucked up one of our bikes last night!”

Yoon runs out from behind a nearby building and ducks behind the flat side of a ramp.

_‘Y: They took him to the skate park. There’s around 10 guys here. Do I call the police?’_

_‘J: Only if he’s losing a fight, otherwise they’ll write it off as gang violence again and get him in trouble as well.’_

_‘H: I’ll be there in 5 minutes.’_

_‘J: Kija just managed to get us out, we’ll be there in about 5 too.’_

A man steps out from the group of gangsters. He isn’t the tallest, but he is certainly the most dangerous, as his eyes dilate in boiling, bottled up rage.

“You’ve been giving us a real hard time, haven’t you, buddy?” He snarls and bears his teeth like a hungry beast. He snatches Shin-ah’s hair between his fingers, then pulls it down until he looks him directly in the eye.

For only a second Shin-ah hisses through his teeth in pain, but in the next he swallows it. He bores into Lee’s wild eyes with calm gold, but a sharp gleam in them scream defiance and fearlessness.

Yoon’s heart pounds against his chest as he continues to type.

_‘Y: One of them has a baseball bat. The others might have some hidden, but I doubt they’ll be using them right now.’_

“Only Dragons stay calm, even when completely outnumbered.” A vicious smile twists on Lee’s face. “They haven’t shown up in a while, but I have a hunch that you might actually be one of them.” He shoves Shin-ah’s head down before bringing his hand back. “He’s probably as tough as they are.”

A voice chimes in, “And he’s got a handsome face like in the rumours too!”

Another mumbles, “I don’t think that’s important…”

“No, he’s right.” Lee cracks his knuckles. “And I’m gonna have a blast messing it up.”

_‘Y: THEY’RE ABOUT TO ATTACK, GET OVER HERE NOW’_

Lee throws his fist towards Shin-ah but he barely dodges by the skin of his teeth. “Stay still, asshole!” he hears the Bandit next to him growl before he is kicked in the stomach.

Yoon presses his hand against his mouth and grabs at the collar of his shirt as he turns away. The thuds and the grunts and sounds of Shin-ah choking don’t stop. He wants to scream for help and he wants to charge into the torture himself but he can’t. He can’t. And there is no reasoning with the Bandits, nothing is going to stop them now. All he can do is wait for the others to show up and–

Out of his bag Ao suddenly leaps out and darts towards Shin-Ah on the ground.

“Ah–Ao! Get back here!”

She seamlessly weaves through the mass of moving feet surrounding him and jumps onto the ropes tying Shin-Ah’s wrists together.

Some of the Bandits jump back in surprise. “Woah, what the fuck?! It’s a squirrel?!”

“Shit! Get back, it might have rabies!”

Shin-ah feels Ao latch onto the ropes around his wrists. “Ao, hold on tight.”

As her teeth chew away at the ropes Shin-ah throws himself side to side, into the dirt and rolls to avoid the kicking feet and grabbing hands. Snap. He pulls his arms free and leaps to his feet as hell breaks loose and the flurry of fists begin again.

–All he can do is wait for the others to show up while Shin-ah fights and gets hurt.

Yoon tears his hand away from his mouth and balls it into a tight fist. He reaches into his bag and searches until he suddenly hears a voice behind him.

“Hey, kid, the hell are you doing over here?”

Yoon hurls his bag behind his back as he turns to face the Bandit in front of him. “N-nothing…”

He eyes the young man towering over him, focusing on the end of the baseball bat that drags along the road behind his feet. His face is blank at first, maybe even a little suspecting, but then it cracks into a thin-lipped snicker. “Wanna see my buddies kill this guy?”

Yoon gulps. His fingers quietly wrap around thick plastic, quickly running his thumb over the switch in the middle. “Is that even a question?” A twisted, wide-eyed smile emerged on Yoon’s face as he slowly stands up.

The Bandit turns around, and suddenly Yoon pulls his hand from the bag and lunges forward. The sharp buzz of electric shock, the following scream and thump of a collapsing body pauses the brawl for a moment. He feels eyes, shocked and enraged locked onto him as he picks up the fallen baseball bat.

Shin-ah stares with wide eyes. _“Yoon…”_

Yoon tightens his sweaty, slipping grip on the baseball bat while he raises his other hand holding the taser. “Let him go.”

A Bandit’s taunting voice shouts, “Hah! He’s shaking! Think you can beat us, kid?!”

His face is bloodless and terror fills his veins. “Not really.” But above all the anxiety racing through his mind Yoon almost wants to laugh. The Bandits are right - he can’t. “But I know _he_ certainly can.”

He throws the baseball bat towards them as Shin-ah breaks free and bolts towards Yoon. Shin-ah grabs it and spins back around with it steady in his hands. He takes a step backwards towards Yoon. The bruises from the day before are aching and stinging on his skin, but there is no way he is going down, especially not when Yoon is scared and in danger.

“Yoon, run,” he says.

“Too late.” Yoon’s voice shakes. “I can’t, I won’t run away now.”

“But you hate violence…”

He tightens his grip on the taser. “There’s no way I’m letting you get hurt here. Protecting you is my job. And it’s funny, I yelled at you for throwing yourself into a fight trying to save someone, but here I am doing the exact same thing. Shin-ah, I’m sorry, I’m the only idiot around here.”

Something about that declaration makes Shin-ah’s heart sink. “Don’t say that–”

Lee clicks his tongue. “Get them!”

Shin-ah locks eyes with the Bandits. “Yoon, stay behind me.”

The Bandits charge at them and Shin-ah steps a foot forward. He waits until they’re close before he swings the baseball bat and swiftly takes them down. Slowly and one by one the Bandits fall to the ground, but Shin-ah groans through gritted teeth at the pain that bites his body.

Yoon suddenly hears a footstep behind him and spins around. The sight of the Bandit in front of him flashes for an instant before he feels a sharp crack in his cheek and he falls to the ground. Fear overrides. He can barely hear the screech of his name that pierces the air when the Bandit pulls a switch knife from his pocket and drives it towards Yoon’s shoulder.

And he sees red.

A weight is released from Yoon’s chest when the Bandit is suddenly tackled to the ground. He sits up and backs away, panting.

Yona turns to him from on top of the collapsed body with a taser in her hand. “Yoon! Are you alright?!”

Zeno runs towards Yoon and takes his hands. “Come on, we’ve gotta go!”

Yona turns towards the brawl and screams. “Shin-ah! Behind you!!”

He turns, but green sweeps through his vision as Jae-ha jumps and kicks the Bandit to the ground.

Another Bandit grunts, “Fucker!”

Jae-ha smirks and spins on his hands, twisting his legs into them while Kija and Hak pull them out of the circle and punch them to the ground.

Lee drags his elbows through the ground as he attempts to stand. “Shit, they’re crazy strong…!”

Another voice blurts, “And they have handsome faces!!”

“That’s not important!”

“They are Dragons!” Lee roars. “They must be!”

“You’re all too kind!” Jae-ha rests his cheek in his hand daintily as he kicks another Bandit in the gut. “If you keep calling me beautiful and falling in love with me I might feel awful for not reciprocating your feelings!”

Kija steps in front of Shin-Ah, “But you hurt our brothers, I’ll never forgive you.”

The Bandits push themselves off the ground, but their arms shake under their own weights. “You…won’t get away with this…!”

“We’ll be ready to fight you anytime,” Hak stares them down from above. “But just know that it won’t be ending any differently.”

High sirens pierce the air behind them and freeze both the Bandits and Dragons alike. Dark blue uniforms emerge from car doors, and an officer’s voice booms harshly as they approach. “What’s going on here?!”

Hak, Kija and Jae-ha glance at each other. The latter stands up straight and casually stuffs his hands into his pockets. “These guys here kidnapped our friend and tried to hurt him. But we’re all alright now, so if they could please be arrested and we’re let on our way, there’s absolutely nothing to–”

“Save it, Dragon, we know who you are. Hands on your head, now!”

Hak groans as his wrists are pulled and cuffed behind him. “Why are you arresting all of us?”

“Gang activity, obviously. You can explain why the hell you were fighting in broad daylight in a public area at the police station.”

Yoon looks around frantically as he is walked to the police car at Kija and Jae-ha’s faces, solemn and expectant like they had been through it a thousand times. Then he sees Hak, Yona and Zeno putting up their brave fronts and staying silent. And finally, Shin-ah, who Yoon catches staring straight towards him, absolutely terrified, as though reflecting exactly what he feels in his racing heart.

The hand on the back of his head shoves Yoon into the car. Without a second of hesitation, the door slams closed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next update 27th of December


	3. Until

With a gloved hand on each arm, Yoon is guided to the stand. Behind him the short barred gate is closed and locked. He looks around, tracing over the judge, the prosecutor and the lawyer sitting at shiny wooden tables in front of clean white walls. The courtroom is small, causing the voices and judgmental looks to echo off the walls and creep into his skin.

 _“The others had self-defense and defense-of-another on their side,”_ the courtroom audience says, _“but the boy had absolutely nothing.”_

But he still feels surprisingly calm, considering the number of times he broke down in the holding cell the night before. He was the only one left at the police station that night in the cold, suffocating cell while his family wasn’t allowed to stay with him. What would become of him? How would he live the rest of his life? He doesn’t have the energy to run all the different scenarios through his head anymore.

He peeks over his left shoulder and sees Yona and the others sitting in the front row. They sit in a straight line, dressed in their best to support him. Yoon locks eyes with Hak, the latter giving him a firm nod before he mouths, “You’ll be fine.”

Yoon sure hopes so. He turns back around.

_“I heard he’s a model student. What is a boy like him doing with a gang?”_

As soon as he turns to face the front of the room, Yona notices Hak’s face falling like the rest. She cannot help but watch their sullen faces and sunken souls as the worst outcome plays over and over in their minds like a broken record. And the dissonance of whispers behind them further unease them.

_“They’re a bad influence on such a promising child!”_

To Yona’s right, Shin-ah’s hands grip the fabric of his shirt until his fingers are white. He tries to stable himself. He tries to calm down, to breathe. But his arms shake and his breath is short like the fuse of a bomb ready to explode any second.

_“If they hadn’t forced him to be involved with them he could still have a chance to go to u–”_

Shin-ah suddenly stands up and leaves the room as quickly as sweeping wind. As the others stare in his path, Yona runs out of the room after him.

Zeno glares coldly towards the gossipers sitting next to the wall from the corners of his eyes. Their voices are low, but not low enough for the biting words to crush the hearts of his loved ones, and he knows they know it. “If you have something you want to say about someone that you want them to hear,” he says, “Then at least try saying it to them.”

They stare back at him with their mouths shut, then turn away, downcast.

Outside the courtroom, Yona spots Shin-ah by a railing overlooking the rest of the courthouse. As she steps towards him, the heels of her shoes click against the marble floors and echo in the halls. She gulps. “Shin-ah.”

He doesn’t answer. Yona quickens her pace until her shoes beat against the floor and she places her hand on the railing when she reaches him. She calls his name again, “Shin-ah!” but then stills when she sees him.

Above his pearl white knuckles gripping the cold rail, he hangs his upper body over the rail ever so slightly. He stares at the floors below him with unblinking eyes, breathing raggedly as though no matter how much air passes through his lungs he suffocates under endless guilt.

Yona leans over the railing, “Shin-ah–”

He suddenly snaps towards her. “Y-Yona?”

“A…are you okay? What’s wrong?”

Shin-ah stops breathing completely. “People were talking…They said…” His grip on the railing tightens even more. “…It’s all my fault. And they’re right…”

Yona places her hand gently on Shin-ah’s. “Shin-ah, try to take a few deep breaths first.”

He begins to draw shaky breaths into his chest, letting them rest before he slowly exhales while Yona draws smooth circles on the back of his hand. As he continues, his grip slowly relax until the palm of his hand feels loose. He turns to her. “Thank you, Yona.”

“It’s alright. Can you talk to me?” she asks. “If you want to tell me whatever it is you’re thinking right now, I’m all ears.”

He pauses for a few moments to collect his thoughts. When he looks at Yona again, she is waiting for him patiently with a generously reassuring smile on her face, as though she would stand by his side and wait for him forever. So he finally speaks, “Yoon…is always looking forward.”

Yona nods. “…Go on.”

“…He goes to school every single day…and stays up all night studying until he falls asleep at his desk. He loves learning more than anything, and he’s hoping for a future where he can do that for the rest of his life but…I’ve taken it away.”

Her eyebrows furrow in confusion. “Shin-ah, I don’t understand. What do you mean you’ve taken away his future?”

Shin-ah falls silent and looks at Yona with slight disbelief. “Yona, if you have a criminal record…you can’t go to university.”

She stands frozen in shock. “Then…everything he’s been working for is…”

“Gone.” He tears his hands from the railing and clenches them. “I destroyed everything.”

Yona’s gaze drops to the floor. She shakes her head in denial. “No. No, no, no. Shin-ah, no, you didn’t. Don’t say that!” she argues. “If you really think it’s your fault, then all of us are at fault! Maybe we could’ve gotten there faster, maybe we should’ve called the police - just because things could’ve gone differently doesn’t mean someone is at fault for not making it that way.”

Tears begin to fall down Yona’s cheeks. “If you’re going to believe that it’s not any of our faults, then you have to believe that for yourself too, Shin-ah…But…” she hiccups, “If you can’t do that, then I at least want you to know that we all feel the same way you do.”

Shin-ah takes a step back. Yona wipes her tears onto the sleeve of her shirt and looks up at him with a quivering smile. “You’re not alone, and it makes me sad whenever you think you are. So, please…” But it breaks down into a crying plead on her face. “…Don’t forget we’re all here for you, and Yoon too, just like how you would be here for us.”

He feels his throat tighten. “Yona, please don’t cry…”

“I’m sorry…” She sniffles one more time before reaching out her hand towards Shin-ah. “Come on, we need to go back for Yoon. He needs us.”

Shin-ah slowly takes Yona’s hand. She turns back to the doors of the courtroom and gently pulls him behind her.

* * *

Yoon hangs his head low, staring emptily at the tight cuffs around his wrist. The booming knock of the wooden mallet against the gavel and the judge’s voice enter one ear and leave straight out of the other. It is when the audience falls into a heavy silence that his mind floats back into reality, but he still doesn’t bother to look at the judge.

Their voice, ominous and god-like, towers over him. “Do you swear to tell the truth, the absolute truth, and nothing but the truth?”

Yoon sighs, “Yes.”

The judge spends a few moments watching Yoon stand still. “Yesterday morning,” they continued, “the home you share was broken into by three gang members who kidnapped your friend. You followed their car to the skate park where the rest of the gang proceeded to attack him, and you tased one of them to steal their weapon. However, while they admitted they are affiliated with this gang, they did not hurt him nor you themselves. Is all of this true?”

Yoon raises his head to the side lazily. “Yes.”

The prosecutor to Yoon’s right coughs and the audience turns to her. “Before this continues, I would like to ask the defendant something.” She locks dead set onto Yoon, a malicious gleam in her eye. “You are an honours student, correct?”

He glares at her. “I don’t see what that has to do with anything, but yes, I am.”

“You claim that you attacked the innocent bystander and stole his bat to allow your friend to defend himself, but why did you take matters into your own hands rather than call the police?”

 _Tread carefully,_ Yoon thinks to himself. “Perhaps against my better judgment,” he says, “I believed that the police would recognise my friend as a gang member and punish him for the theft of their motorbike.”

The prosecutor narrows her eyes. “Why?”

“Other members of my gang have been unlawfully arrested in the past and punished for self-defense and defense-of-another–”

“If I remember correctly, all the arrests of your gang members have been for vigilantism.”

Yoon clicks his tongue. “You call it vigilantism because it is illegal and allows you to charge them so you can get rid of all of us!” He suddenly freezes, then recedes back into his skin. “We managed to get lucky, but I believe it is only reasonable that we do not want to risk it again.”

“But why would you, a straight A student, ruin your future to try to protect these gangsters?”

Yoon silences.

Shin-ah sits in the back row of the audience with Yona, the silence falling heavily on his chest. It squeezes his heart under the pressure of his worst fears coming true. But he continues to watch Yoon’s back as his arms tense and his head wavers to the side in what seems to be frustration pushing him over the edge. He hears a bang of metal against the stand, and suddenly Yoon is shouting.

“Can you not figure it out?! It’s because they’re my family!”

The prosecutor grits her teeth. “You ruined your future to protect gangster violence and crime!”

“And guess what?! I’ll do it over and over again! I’ll ruin my future as many times I need to to protect my family! It’s what we do! We never even promoted violence and crime anyway! I don’t care if you call us vigilantes, we saved people, not hurt them–!”

The judge’s mallet smashes against the gavel. The courtroom freezes. “That is enough,” they say firmly. “We are not here to discuss the reasonableness of the actions of other gang members or their punishments.”

For a moment they gaze over the audience, over the six young adults with their hands tightly gripping the fabric of their trousers or the wood of their seats. But they hold their heads up and watch Yoon’s back, prepared for whatever adversity would try to break them.

“This boy has been found guilty of assault, and he his here today for his sentence to be decided.”

To Yoon’s left, the attorney stands quietly. “Yoon here is both a child and first-time offender. He claims his gang has no interest in meaningless violence, and it is true that the others were only ever arrested for vigilantism. While this does not affect his sentence directly, I believe he possesses only the willingness to protect others, not hurt them for territorial power or other self-centred reasons. It is therefore not necessary to reform him by placing him in a juvenile detention centre.”

“He admitted that he is willing to assault others to protect his own!” the prosecutor growls, “How does that mean it is unnecessary for him to reform?!”

Yoon rolls his eyes. “Hey, to be fair, if someone in your family was being beat up by 10 gang members and you had the chance to save them, you would take it too.”

The judge lets out a deep breath. “I have decided your sentence.”

He stiffens. Cold sweat falls down his neck as all his anxieties come rushing back to him. He slowly looks up towards the judge’s blank face.

His family waits behind him. They begin to wish and pray harder. They press their foreheads against their knuckles and beg whatever divine being was listening for Yoon to not be taken away from them.

“You are convicted to 200 hours of community and service.”

Sighs of relief spill from their lungs like the tears of joy that follow. They barely hear the judge’s last words to Yoon before he is escorted out. As soon as they see the judge stand up they leap from their seats, clambering over them and pulling each other as they rush out the door.

Outside, Yoon rubs the red marks around his wrist. He sees them run out towards him, and smiles, “Hey, guys. It went pretty well, huh?”

Yona, Hak, Kija, Jae-ha and Zeno begin to run towards him, screaming his name, but Shin-ah dashes in front of the group and wraps his arms around Yoon first.

His arms are tight around the smaller boy, both protective and desperate to hold him with Yoon’s head nestled in his shoulder. Shin-ah doesn’t say a word but Yoon can almost hear his thoughts. _I’m so glad you’re okay. Thank you for always being here. I’m sorry._

Eventually, Yoon begins to laugh, “Shin-ah, that’s enough. Let everyone else have a turn–”

“Too late! We’re having a group hug!” Zeno pounces onto both of them and pulls them towards him and each other. The rest of them follow until Yoon sinks cozily into the blanket of his warm and protective family.

* * *

“So, Yoon, where are you off to?” Hak asks.

“I’m going to the social security office just a few streets from our house.” Yoon holds his head high as they leave the courthouse together, “They probably saw me, all scrawny looking, and decided there was no way I could do anything related to manual labour! By the way, I’m getting kinda hungry. Let’s all get something to eat afterwards!”

Zeno cheers, “That’s the spirit! You just got out of a trial, so it’s Zeno’s treat today!”

Yona hops next to Yoon and begins to walk with him. “Yoon, I’ve been meaning to ask, but why did you suddenly stop talking when the prosecutor asked you why you would protect us? You gave Shin-ah a heart attack, you know!”

Shin-ah jumps, “Ah–no, that’s not–”

“I was so pissed!” Yoon clenches his fists. “They thought I would prioritise my grades and my education over the family that let me have those opportunities in the first place?! I know education is important, but I’d give that up for all of you any day!” He turns around towards Shin-ah. “I’m sorry I worried you for a second there, Shin-ah.”

They arrive at a small office building sitting on the far, quiet corner of the shopping district. Next to and across from it are straight rows of banks and dollar shops, all of them empty in the daylight.

Yoon, Yona, Zeno and Shin-ah step through the automatic doors, but then turn around when the others don’t follow. “Aren’t you guys coming?” Yona asks.

“Ah, we’ll just stay out here. It’s a bit weird walking in there with so many of us at once,” Jae-ha laughs nervously.

The others walk inside without another word, and as soon as the doors close Jae-ha turns to Hak and Kija. “I’m worried about Yoon.”

Kija blinks. “Worried? About what? He only got community and service, and knowing him he’ll do it the best he can.”

“No, that’s not it. I’m talking about the bit where he said he’ll give up his education for us any day. I’m not saying he wouldn’t do it, but I’m afraid that…do you think he’ll regret it later in his life?”

Hak folds his arms. “Droopy Eyes is right. Considering how much he loves learning and how smart he is, I sort of assumed that he wants to be an academic, a researcher or at least have a white collar job of some sort. But now he can’t even receive a tertiary education because he has a criminal record. At this point he’ll get into a trade college at best, and even then the chances are slim.”

“Oh…” Kija’s face falls. “You’re concerned that he’ll be unsatisfied with his future and end up regretting tasing that Bandit to save Shin-ah.”

“And I think Shin-ah realises that as well, hence why he blames himself for this whole thing.” Hak glances towards the doors.

Jae-ha continues, “I thought about it before the trial - what would’ve happened if Yoon hadn’t done anything. If he waited it out, Shin-ah definitely would’ve gotten a few broken bones but I highly doubt it would’ve been anything serious. And unlike the police, medical professionals aren’t the type to refuse treatment, even if we are gang members. If Yoon starts to think about it that way during a time he is unhappy…”

The thought hadn’t crossed Kija’s mind. Jae-ha and Hak’s points certainly make sense, but when Kija thinks about it in regards to Yoon, it doesn’t sit right in his mind. So he shakes his head, “I don’t think Yoon would regret it.”

Both Jae-ha and Hak look at him in surprise. “You think so?”

“No matter what is in his way, Yoon will find a way around it. I think he’ll be able to accept that it cannot be changed, especially when he is older. I believe in him, so I know so.” Kija smiles reassuringly. “He wouldn’t want us to pity him either.”

Hak sighs. “Yeah, you’re right.”

“You know, Hak,” Jae-ha grins, “It’s times like these that I remember Kija is actually older than you.”

“You can call me big brother–”

“No.”

The doors slide open as Yoon and the others join them outside. “Well, just letting you all know in advance my weekends are gone. Eight in the morning until five in the afternoon for the next six months,” he huffs.

“That’s not too bad,” Jae-ha shrugs. “Kija spent over a whole year doing roadwork for his hours.”

Kija raises his eyebrow. “But in hindsight, I did land both of us a job.”

“And I will always be thankful for that, Kija.”

Zeno jumps up and down, “Guys, come on! Zeno’s hungry!”

Yoon sighs, “Okay, okay, we’ve got it. Let’s go get some barbecue.”

“Wait, barbecue again?!” Jae-ha blurts. “Mother, please tell Zeno we need some more variety!”

“I’m not your mother! And I want barbecue! Also, we have to go pick up Ao from home or she’ll starve to death!”

Shin-ah gasps, “Starve…”


	4. The End

Yoon rests his chin on his desk and stares at the wall of the infirmary directly in front of him. Mid-afternoon’s fingers beat their tips upon his back in the deathly silent room.

He usually thinks of escaping from the classroom environment a luxury - it gives him the opportunity to study at his own pace. But this time he is left alone with his thoughts. It doesn’t relax him at all.

Though, with all that would happen if he is in a classroom, it wouldn’t be much better.

He presses his fingers into his stomach. The blunt sting from a bruise causes the events of the past few days begin to flash in Yoon’s head. The cracking sound of him yelling at Shin-ah, the tremble of his hand around the taser that pressed against the Bandit’s back, the way his world spun when he was hit to the ground, the smell of the blood from his nose, and the burst of his heart against his chest when he saw the knife pointed down at his shoulder.

He immediately tangles his fingers into his hair and presses his forehead against the desk, barely managing to hold back the screams that so desperately want to escape into the open air and he instead demands his mind to stop thinking. He doesn’t want to think. He can’t think. If he does, it’ll all happen again.

The door suddenly slides open. Yoon looks up from the desk to see Hak standing silently in the doorway.

“H…Hak? What are you doing here?” Yoon asks.

Worry flashes across Hak’s expression as closes the door behind him and he crosses the room. “Yoon, are you okay? Yona told me what happened.”

Right, what also happened when he went to school that morning.

He gulps. “I’m fine.” He tries to bring himself together through slow breaths. “I don’t really care if the teachers consider me a threat to the safety of other students if I only get separated. And besides, it’s kind of nice in the nurse’s office.”

“Are you sure? Because if you need anything I’ll–”

The door slides open again, and there stand two students slouching their backs with their hands stuffed into their pockets. One of them looks at Hak, “Hey, is the nurse in–” They stop upon noticing Yoon sitting in across the room. “Well, if it isn’t the criminal,” they snarl.

The other follows. “I thought the teachers decided you were a threat to our safety, so what the hell are you still doing here?”

Not only did the teacher at the school gate tell Yoon he was to report to the nurse’s office to stay there for the rest of the year, some of the other students decided to take care of the ‘threat’ themselves.

A tongue clicks. “Or was that punch to the gut not enough for you?”

Hak suddenly steps between Yoon and the two students. “If you have a problem with him,” he glares “you’ll have to answer to me first.”

They look at each other, then back to Hak. “Huh? You a gangster too? Bring it on then, I can take you–”

An exasperated sigh escapes from Yoon’s chest. “Hak, don’t.”

Hak turns back towards Yoon sitting at his desk. He had turned back and is facing the wall with tired eyes. Hak protests, “But–”

“You’ll get suspended,” he says. He side glances towards the other students. “And as for you two, I’m not one to tell others to hurt someone on my behalf, but if they’re willing to, I won’t be so nice next time.” He practically growls, “So leave me alone.”

They begin to slowly take steps back towards the door. One of them grabs the others’ wrist and pulls them out the door with them.

Hak turns towards Yoon again. “Come on, Yoon, let’s go home.”

He nods and drags his bag off the desk. “Okay…”

From that day onwards, Yoon is never alone at school. Hak walks him to the nurse’s office in the morning and picks him up to go home in the afternoon while Yona and Zeno visit him during the day.

As for Shin-ah, well, no matter what anyone said, he decided he couldn’t face Yoon, that he didn’t deserve to.

And then, of course, are the occasional students that pass through the nurse’s office.

Despite the lack of hostility, their actions still crawl under Yoon’s skin and chew him away. They walk into the nurse’s office but jump back in fear every time they set eyes on him, not only because they are afraid of him but also the people they believed he would call to hurt them. No one stays in the office to sleep - they just bear with the pain and leave. And he is much too tired to explain to every single person that walks in that he doesn’t want to hurt anyone.

But all the fearful looks and indirect accusations almost make him want to, just so at least one thing they think about him now becomes true. When he is constantly reminded by his teachers and peers who previously admired and respected him for his talents and his personality that he is a criminal, he is consumed by the thoughts until he believes he can never become more, that he is cursed to a meaningless life of constant downward spirals.

He is no longer Yoon, or even the pretty boy genius. He is now a criminal. And no one is going to see him any other way.

And it hurts Shin-ah to know he is the cause of it all.

* * *

The apartment quietens down as soon as Zeno goes to bed first. Shin-ah passes the living room where Yona is laying her futon out on the floor. “Yona,” he calls, “Do we have any white-out?”

She looks up at him as she pats the mattress down. “Hm…I think it’s in Yoon’s bag on the table. Somewhere in his pencil case.”

As Shin-ah passes the entrance to the kitchen, Yoon accidentally knocks his arm with his shoulder. “Ah, sorry, Shin-ah.” But before he can say anything, Yoon’s gaze falls to the floor and he silently enters the kitchen.

Shin-ah watches Yoon for a moment, but then returns to the living room. He finds Yoon’s bag tossed onto the table, tiptoes over Kija’s feet and zips the bag open. As he pulls out his pencil case and opens it, he hears a squeak from Ao as she jumps into his bag. Before he closes it and puts it back inside, Ao moves a book and Shin-ah spots a collection of pamphlets underneath them that sprawl along the bottom in a crumpled mess. Bold university names pop out from the assorted colours, but they dimmed over time and lost aspirations.

Yoon can’t use them anymore.

Shin-ah shakes the thought away and closes Yoon’s bag. He crosses the living room again and Ao jumps back onto Yona’s futon, but as he passes the kitchen Yoon’s voice from the kitchen stops him.

“…Jae-ha, after you were convicted, did anything become…different…?”

Shin-ah stills by the entryway before taking a small, silent step backwards into the dark living room. He listens to Yoon’s voice, quiet and choking, as he lays his greatest fears on the kitchen counter for Jae-ha to see embedded in his cautiously worded questions.

“A little,” Jae-ha says. “No one was actually surprised I was arrested, though. The people outside my gang back in Awa just suddenly realised exactly how risky it was to be around me.”

“…Was there anything you wanted to do when you were my age?”

“You make me sound like I’m an old man, Yoon,” he chuckles, then sighs softly. “I did, though. But by the time I actually tried to do something with it I’d been convicted multiple times. I couldn’t do anything to achieve it.”

He begins to stare into space almost longingly, as though he hopes that in some distant, alternate universe there is one of him that became exactly who he wanted to be back then.

Yoon’s eyes fall to the kitchen counter where he meets his dim reflection. His eyes are dark, tired and hopeless, and his entire body appears to sag sorrily. He hates it. He can’t stand to look at it.

It seems Jae-ha cannot stand to see him that way either. “But do you want to know the difference between you and me, Yoon?”

He looks up at him. “What is it?”

Jae-ha gently presses the tip of his finger against the left side of Yoon’s chest. “People trusted you.”

“They didn’t trust you?”

“Absolutely not.”

Yoon furrows his eyebrows.

Jae-ha groans. “Okay, fine, only Gigan and the others did, but no one else. I had a reputation of skipping school, vandalism, things like that. Even if I didn’t have a criminal record no one would’ve trusted me anyway.” He shrugs. “But I’m okay now.”

“You have a job that you can live off of.”

“And you’ll probably be even better off than I am right now, so,” the corners of Jae-ha’s lips curve ever so slightly in a small smile. “Don’t give up. And if you want to get back at those idiots who don’t believe in you anymore, live. Keep doing what you want to do and live well, be happy. That is the best revenge.”

Yoon snorts. “That’s surprisingly cheesy, coming from you.”

“You’re a good kid, Yoon. So don’t stop at anything until you’re happy.”

“You know I won’t,” he says as he stands up from the stool and turns towards the entrance to the kitchen. For a few seconds he stands in silence, until he turns his head back to Jae-ha. “Thank you, Jae-ha.”

The smile doesn’t disappear. “Anytime.”

He turns the corner into the living room and sees Shin-ah standing by the wall. He opens his mouth to say something, but then Shin-ah blurts first, “Sorry, I didn’t mean to…”

Shin-ah doesn’t finish his sentence. He knows Yoon understands what he means anyway, and his mind is clouded with other thoughts - too many thoughts that he needs to let out. But he needs to talk to Yoon, so he takes a deep breath. “Yoon…can we talk?”

Yoon blinks in surprise. “Yeah, sure. Alone? Where do you want to go?”

He looks around the apartment and then points to the front door.

The fresh night air outside clears their chests the moment they step outside. Yoon closes the door as Shin-ah steps out towards the railing overlooking the area. “You know, Shin-ah, I wasn’t really expecting this, considering how guilty you’ve been feeling.”

He turns around with shock. “How…how did you know?”

Yoon doesn’t mean to snort, but he does. “Sorry, but it’s pretty obvious. I know you’re quiet, but you’re not exactly the best at hiding your feelings.”

Shin-ah sighs in defeat.

“So, what did you want to talk about then?”

Oh, so many things, Shin-ah thinks. He doesn’t even know where to start. He doesn’t want to start with his underlying guilt, though, because he isn’t there to make him feel bad. He wants to ask if he’s okay but that doesn’t sit right with him either. So the last things there was was…

“I want to help you, Yoon.”

Yoon falls silent. He stands in front of the door with his mouth gaped open but all his words fall away and disappear. “Shin-ah…what? You…you don’t have to do that…” Why? Why does he want to help him? Sure, he is family, but this isn’t anything Yoon can’t deal with. Potential reasons begin to run through his mind, but for some reason it stays on just one answer.

“Are…are you _pitying_ me?”

Shin-ah’s eyes widen. “No. It’s not that.”

“Shin-ah, seriously, I don’t need help.” Yoon starts to look at his hands. Has it been so obvious? That he isn’t doing okay? “You don’t need to feel guilty about it. It’s not your fault–”

“That’s not it–”

He sighs exasperatingly, “Then what is it?! If this isn’t about you trying to make yourself feel better then what is it?! Because either way, I don’t need it, I’m _fine!_ ”

But he’s not okay, Shin-ah thinks. Yoon went to Jae-ha for help because he wanted it. It’s precisely because he’s not okay that he tries to tell everyone he is. “It’s not pity,” Shin-ah says firmly. “It’s not guilt either. I did this, so I’m going to make this right. For both of us.”

“How is that not guilt?!”

“I’m not doing it because I feel bad. I’m doing it because it is the right thing to do, no matter what I feel. I caused it, and it can’t be fixed, so I’m making it better for you, even if it’s only a little bit.”

A bomb of shock and shame bursts in Yoon’s chest. He stumbles, back hitting the door before he slides onto the ground. “Shin-ah, I’m…” Hot tears begin to pour from his eyes. “I’m so sorry…”

Shin-ah kneels down on the ground in front of him. “I do feel guilty, but it’s not about me. It’s not my life that has changed…”

Yoon presses his sleeve against his eyes. “It’s been so hard…This month has been so hard…” He sniffles and looks up at Shin-ah, who sits and listens sympathetically. “Everything is changing, it sucks, and I always feel like crap and now I’m just taking it all out on you…I’m so sorry…” He takes a deep breath. “But you know, though, it’s not like I never considered it could turn out like this.”

“You did…?”

He nods and looks down at his knees. “But I’ll admit, it was still really scary when I got left alone in the holding cell. And as soon as I tased that Bandit I sort of knew in the back of my mind that this was going to happen, so…I’m just going to have to own my decision.”

“I will too,” Shin-ah says.

“Shin-ah, can I just say something?” Yoon lifts his head. “I swear, you never stop thinking about other people.”

He makes it sound like it’s a bad thing, and it takes Shin-ah by surprise. “I…I just want to help people. It’s what I’ve always wanted. But…when it comes to things I’m at fault for…it’s hard…”

“You don’t know what to do?”

Shin-ah shakes his head. “But when you talked to Jae-ha…I realised there is something I can help you with. I wanted to tell you that I’ll do whatever it takes to make you happy.”

“Well…you’re a really good guy, so just do whatever feels right.”

“It feels right to be helping you.”

Yoon laughs. “And I’m just going to have to accept that, aren’t I?”

“It would be better for both of us if I helped you than if I avoided you forever feeling guilty, not knowing what you’re feeling. You get to be happy, and I get to forgive myself.” He smiles brightly. “You don’t have to be a pretty boy genius all the time. You can cry too.”

“Excuse me?” Yoon’s jaw drops. “Did you just imply that crying makes me an idiot?! With a smile on your face?! That’s it! If you’re going to help me, you have to do everything I say! I’m taking full advantage!” He suddenly stands up and walks towards the metal staircase leading to the front yard. “Take me someplace cool on the bike!”

“Ah–Yoon, we need helmets first…”

Yoon stomps back past him and swings open the apartment door. “Guys! I think Shin-ah just roasted me! First he implies I’m an idiot and now he uses my safety helmet argument against me!”

Shin-ah panics as he chases Yoon inside, the others’ voices beginning to holler with laughter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if anyone is interested to know how this fic and eventually the entire gang!AU (which I most definitely want to continue) came about it came from this prompt:  
> "You swerve to avoid a squirrel. Unknown to you, the squirrel pledges a life debt to you. In your darkest hour, the squirrel arrives."  
> Ao is barely in this lmao but yeah it's crazy right? the power of imagination is insane.  
> Thank you so much for reading!!!


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